50. Chloe Cole
My name is Chloe Cole and at the time of writing I am 19 years old. I formerly was a “transgender kid”. My gender transition spanned nearly the entirety of my adolescence — I started calling myself a boy at 12, before doctors rushed me into transitioning medically at 13 with puberty blockers and testosterone. After my sophomore year of high school, I underwent a double mastectomy, a month before my 16th birthday. I rejected transition after I started to realize that I wanted to have children one day, that I wanted to become a mother, and that I really wanted to just be a woman, but was scared that I was too boyish and never would be good enough to be one.
Mom and Dad were supportive but cautious when I told them I was a boy; they wanted to help me but they also could see that this was just an extension of my mental health issues and other struggles growing up. I was neurodivergent, creative, and sensitive, I had been bullied throughout elementary and middle school and I began puberty rather early which played a role in my struggles with my body image. They were sensible, and wanted to let me live the rest of my adolescence without intervention, but they were taken aback when my doctors told them that there was no other choice than transitioning when I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, otherwise I would commit suicide. I did not feel suicidal, however, and they were lied to. Given no other choice, they did the best with what they had, and I can’t blame them. I really feel like they were hurt as badly by the doctors as I was.
Though I’m still coming to terms with what transition has taken from me, and grappling with the pain of knowing I can never relive those years, I’ve learned that I still have so much left, and no matter what I have lost, I will always be whole. Being a woman is a birthright and not a curse, it is a blessing, and I don’t feel like I have to hide it anymore. I’m free.
I started speaking publicly about my story when I was 17 years old and it’s been the most meaningful, beautiful part of my life thus far. I’ve since met many other men, women, kids, and families whose lives have been affected by this practice and I hope that by using my own story I can change the world and fight for my generation and beyond.
https://www.youtube.com/@ChoooCole