53. Evie, USA

Evie, 20, Florida, https://x.com/eviepilled

“I first discovered what it means to be transgender when I was 12. it seemed exciting, and with the plethora of other mental health issues I was facing, I thought it might be the answer to my problems. I came out 3 times between 12 and 15, the last time at 15, where I started hormones shortly after. everyone accepted me, my mom treated me like a 'king' and my school gave me special permissions. it really felt like I was at the top of the world. then I got top surgery at 17 and everything went down hill. My mental health dropped rapidly, my hair starting shedding and I wasn't happy with my surgery results. I felt an immense sense of dread and regret, even though that was what I was so certain would seal the deal and make me happy forever. a year later I moved, and because of that stopped receiving testerone prescriptions. as soon as I wasn't taking it, I could feel my mental health improving. It was baffling and confusing and very distressing, because I didn't even know you could detransition, I thought I had to live with my decisions forever. after research about the topic online, I decided to "come out" again in a sense, and it was a polar opposite experience to coming out as trans. all I got was backlash and bitterness from the people I thought to be my friends. I will never be silent about this issue, because it's taken so much from me through 7 years. I wish it wasn’t still a part of my core identity, but that's a fact that will never change. the best I can do is use my past to help others.”