36. Soren

Soren, 20, Texas

“Despite what I thought for the better part of ten years, it was not the pharmaceuticals, echo-chamber support groups, blindly-affirming physicians, or plastic surgery that helped me to transcend my dysphoria.

It was mindfulness and body neutrality. It was unconditional self-acceptance.

Material solutions only pushed me deeper into my ego. They alienated me from my bodymind. They fed my obsession with self and image.

Yet, for some reason, we continue to uphold material solutions as the end-all-be-all treatment for people like me. It was easier to digest myself as a “man born in a woman’s body” than a “masculine woman” — because we are still more fixated on the two-dimensional role than the three-dimensional person.

I am a woman because of how mammals evolved to reproduce, not because I feel a certain way. And I am a woman because I want to contribute to a world where my ten-year-old sister doesn’t feel wrong in her very own skin.

I could write out my whole life story, and it still would not convey the nuance of the journey which led me to this point. You cannot force someone to recover. It is a deeply intimate process that some people take whole lifetimes to achieve.

What you can do, though, is encourage compassion and critical thinking. Ask questions. Lead with curiosity. Be kind where you can and firm where you can’t. Then find room for kindness anyways.

I study the development of self, as well as broader human diversity... so if you want to connect, feel free to reach me on Instagram (@sorenaldaco) or by email (sorenaldaco@gmail.com) 🙂

Identity: 11

Hormones: 17

Surgery: 19

Complications: 19

Detransition: 19

I’m not the rule — but I’m not the exception, either.”