56. Marina, 21. Ohio

“I’ve been lonely as long as I can remember. Had I been born at any other time, this would’ve been something I’d learn to deal with. But I grew up with the internet. I found tumblr when I was 11, and was introduced to the LGBT community a couple years after. I believed I was a lesbian and was quickly radicalized against heterosexuality, thinking of it as a lesser way to live. Why would I want to be like everyone else?

Everything changed when I graduated high school in 2020. My longest relationship ended horribly (my fault), and I was alone. Two days before my 18th birthday, I declared to myself I must be trans. It was as sudden and out of nowhere as it seems. I was on testosterone two months later, after a short visit with a doctor I’d never met before. I was injected that appointment and sent home with a prescription for more.

I spent a lot of time on tumblr and TikTok. I saw hundreds of people like me, and being on hormones was so exciting. My voice dropped immediately and I was already growing facial hair. I finally felt right. My family was concerned, but I met any questioning with hostility.

I moved to Chicago the next year for school and not much changed. I kept injecting myself with testosterone, believing I was becoming the man I was meant to be.

It sounds corny, but my life was saved when I met the man who would become my husband. I began spending all of my time with him, arguing about politics and everything, but falling more in love with him every day. He was the only one who made me really think about why I began transitioning in the first place.

In October of 2022, I stopped my injections cold turkey, horrified by what I’d been doing to myself for the past two years. It was a dark time, but I had him. We got married this July, a little over a year after meeting each other. My family was surprised, but they told me I finally looked happy. The first time in my life I’ve ever truly felt it. We’re expecting a baby girl in May. My life is nowhere near what I ever imagined, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” (@eyeskewer on X)