16. María
María, Spain.
I do not believe gender identity is a real thing anymore. I do not believe someone can be born in the wrong body. I believe some women/girls and men/boys are gender stereotypes non conforming people. I was a gender stereotypes non conforming girl and I did not understand it. No one was able to explain to me in an effective way how normal it is to not be a feminine girl who dislikes femininity. So I believed there was something wrong with me. I have conflictuated with gender stereotypes and other living experiences since my childhood. Being a girl was not what I wanted to be and I believed I was not meant to be one. I have always thought I should have been born a boy and not a girl. I believed that since I remembered until I turned 27. I am now a 28 year old female detransitioner from Spain after almost a decade pretending to be male by injecting artificial testosterone in my body since I was 18 and after amputating my breasts due to acute body rejection at the age 19. The thing is that none of these changes alleviated my distress. None of these changes done to my body saved me from gender dysphoria disorder. None of these changes changed my sex. None of these changes stop me from hating my body or from the idea that I still was in the wrong body. All this suffering was something to be relieved by transitioning. It was a promise by doctors and trans activists that never happened. They treat gender dysphoria with transition (inverted hormones and surgeries) and they affirm it works for every single person that submits to it and that is not true. It did not work for me and I was left with no other alternative. So no, I do not believe something like gender identity exists at all. If you read any paper addressing what a transexual or transgender child is or behave as, you would affirm I was one. In theory I was one for sure but everyone was wrong. Nowadays some people ask me if I am a man only because of how I express myself in a simple chat, not even because I resemble one because fortunately I do not. I recovered well from transition, despite an osteoporosis in the spine. But I am a woman with “masculine” modes and that is still choking some people. I believe I am not trans and that no one is. I do not fear to say it out loud anymore. There is something really wrong in our society that it is selling non conforming children, teenagers and adults that we might have born in the wrong body just because we feel distress because our self being do not follow in an acceptable % the gender stereotypes associated to our sex. The worst is that we volunteer to believe that lie. But I do not buy it anymore."
IG: @mariadetrans