09. Maria
Maria, 28, USA.
“All I ever wanted from top surgery was to be able to swim topless.
I began puberty at a young age, and I hated what it took from me to be seen as a woman. I felt deeply that my growing female body was a barrier to freely access the world, and I saw doors close as I grew older. My body was no longer a conduit for experiencing the world; it was now something to be covered, to feel ashamed of. Suddenly, running and jumping and playing were something to be embarrassed about.
I am one of countless girls who used transition to try to level the playing field. I wanted to neutralize my body because I couldn’t accept what being a woman in society was taking away from me. I couldn’t change the way the world treats women, so I tried to opt out of it.
I just recently started swimming, 7 years after the surgery. One of my pectoral muscles is atrophied and partly paralyzed, but I am fortunate to have a better range of motion than most trans patients.
Despite being the reason for my mastectomy, I have never once swam topless. “